waiting

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Waiting And Waiting…I Think my time is Done!

waiting-in-rain

I waited anxiously in the rain. I hoped and prayed that he would come.

I had waited for a long time. Many told me that it was a waste of time. But my heart would not hear any of it… I loved my friends I believed that their advice was genuine but I would not bring my heart to move. I just could not end the waiting.

Family was concerned and they gave me quiet looks as I waited on in the rain. With a lot of love, they understood that I had to do this. I had to walk this journey, complete it and see where this journey got me. Then only would I let the matter go.

I had waited for a long time. I started the waiting in the crack of dawn. A beautiful dawn it was, a dawn full of promise; promises of all my dreams coming to fulfillment. Being the ever optimistic one, I asked family and friends to celebrate with me. ‘The Lord has been good’ was my unending song. Then beyond the beautiful sunrise the day progressed to a beautiful noon. Then the waiting began.

The sun was soon bright and scorching and time seemed to stand still. I waited under the scorching sun with many telling me to take cover lest the sun caused me harm. Many pointed out places I could take cover under the shade of beautiful trees. However, despite the very sensible alternatives and ways out, I could not do it. I waited on under the blazing sun.

It then started to rain. The drizzle quickly turned into a heavy downpour. I thought to myself, surely this is the time my waiting will come to an end. Friends empathized and begged me to move from the rain for fear that it would bring me harm and heartbreak. Again, I could not hear of it. Ooh, I tried. I did.  ‘Have I hardened my heart to wise counsel from friends and loved ones?’ I asked myself over and over again. Still, I couldn’t move. “God help me” I cried for what seemed to be the trillion time since that beautiful, promise filled crack of dawn.

I have stood under the heavy downpour. I have used several umbrellas as many have been destroyed by the strong winds and heavy downpour. I have dried up from the drenching rain only to get all wet again once the afternoon sun has given way to the showers again.

Is it really worth it? Truly is this all life is about. Clearly and truly it is dusk now. I am wondering if to go on and wait into the night. Should I stand vulnerable in the darkness of night and still wait?

Being a resilient one, despite all circumstances I have been through, I know I can still wait. But is this what I should do? Is this the right thing to do? Perhaps today’s eclipse is a sign that the times will change and that I should wait for a little while longer? Is the November rain pouring right now a sign that I should take cover? Should I give up on that promising break of dawn that was? Did I read the signs all wrong? Was it real promise of fulfillment of a dream or was it just a mirage?

I want to boldly just walk away into the shelter of my house lest the night and the waiting consume me. Perhaps if he does come, he will walk to my house and knock. I should end this wait and move on joyfully in faith. I think it is all very clear now. I have walked the journey, completed it and hence should let the matter go. In my own words…I have done my time. I am sure you all agree with me……*smiles*